{"id":6,"date":"2016-03-26T06:05:37","date_gmt":"2016-03-26T06:05:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/demo.mythemeshop.com\/magxp\/?p=5"},"modified":"2016-03-26T06:05:37","modified_gmt":"2016-03-26T06:05:37","slug":"idiots-lantern","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/786codes.com\/index.php\/2016\/03\/26\/idiots-lantern\/","title":{"rendered":"Kids Were Abusing This Poor Dog With Sticks. They Had No Idea What Was About To Happen\u2026 OMG"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I&#8217;ve always known him: Jeff. You hit me with a cricket bat. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time!<\/p>\n<h2>The Unicorn and the Wasp<\/h2>\n<p>I&#8217;m the Doctor, I&#8217;m worse than everyone&#8217;s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I&#8217;m introducing myself. I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don&#8217;t lie to me!<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time!<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Forest of the Dead<\/h3>\n<p>The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.\u2026hey.\u2026the good things don&#8217;t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don&#8217;t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. I hate yogurt. It&#8217;s just stuff with bits in. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won&#8217;t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I&#8217;m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm &#8211; and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn&#8217;t you?<\/p>\n<h4>Midnight<\/h4>\n<p>*Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I&#8217;m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! You hit me with a cricket bat. You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>They&#8217;re not aliens, they&#8217;re Earth\u2026liens!<\/li>\n<li>Annihilate? No. No violence. I won&#8217;t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I&#8217;m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm &#8211; and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn&#8217;t you?<\/li>\n<li>You know when grown-ups tell you &#8216;everything&#8217;s going to be fine&#8217; and you think they&#8217;re probably lying to make you feel better?<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<h5>The Impossible Astronaut<\/h5>\n<p>Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. I&#8217;m nobody&#8217;s taxi service; I&#8217;m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. I&#8217;m nobody&#8217;s taxi service; I&#8217;m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. No, I&#8217;ll fix it. I&#8217;m good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I&#8217;m the Doctor. Don&#8217;t call me the Rotmeister. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I&#8217;m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do!<\/p>\n<h6>Journey&#8217;s End<\/h6>\n<p>I&#8217;m the Doctor, I&#8217;m worse than everyone&#8217;s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I&#8217;m introducing myself. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! I hate yogurt. It&#8217;s just stuff with bits in. You&#8217;ve swallowed a planet! Did I mention we have comfy chairs? They&#8217;re not aliens, they&#8217;re Earth\u2026liens!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I&#8217;ve always known him: Jeff. You hit me with a cricket bat. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! The Unicorn and the Wasp I&#8217;m the Doctor, I&#8217;m worse than everyone&#8217;s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I&#8217;m introducing myself. I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don&#8217;t lie to me! Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! It&#8217;s a fez. I <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":324,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[7],"class_list":{"0":"post-6","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-funny","8":"tag-games","9":"has_thumb"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/786codes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/786codes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/786codes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/786codes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/786codes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/786codes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/786codes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/324"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/786codes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/786codes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/786codes.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}